Broad Street Breakdown … yes, this is pro wrestling

Bryan Wislosky, Columnist

The road to Wrestlemania 28 will be making a pitstop this Sunday in the hellacious structure known only as the Elimination Chamber Pay-per-View event.  As of right now there are only three matches booked for the night, but they all have high stakes on the line.

            First up,we have what I believe will be the epic conclusion of the John Cena/Kane rivalry.  The two will meet in an ambulance match, where obviously the key to the match is beating your opponent silly until you can stuff them into an ambulance sitting at the entrance ramp and slam the door on them.

It should be clear for any wrestling fan that John Cena will win this match.  He is finally going to “rise above the hate” that Kane so wants him to embrace, building all the momentum he needs before his epic showdown with The Rock in Miami on April 1 at Wrestlemania.

However, I believe Cena will not achieve this feat alone.  My prediction is that the match will conclude with Kane opening the doors of the ambulance to throw his foe in when a returning Zack Ryder will emerge and assist the Cenation general in an act of revenge for the torment Kane has put him through over the past month.  Woo woo woo, you know it!

            Next,we have the Smackdown Elimination Chamber match for the World Heavyweight Championship.  In the match we have current champion Daniel Bryan, Randy Orton, The Great Khali, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, and The Big Show.

Daniel Bryan will once again find a way to weasel himself into a win and will go on to face 2012 Royal Rumble winner Sheamus for the title at the Grandest Stage of ‘Em All.  Bryan will probably win the match by last eliminating Big Show, since they’ve had a heated rivalry developing.  This will conclude the episode between the two, since it’s been reported that Show will already be competing at Mania in a gimmick match against no other than Shaq.  He will probably be in attendance this Sunday and say something to the World’s Largest Athlete to start the storyline.

            Finally,we have the Raw Chamber Match for the WWE Championship.  The participants are current champ CM Punk, Chris Jericho, The Miz, R-Truth, Dolph Ziggler, and Kofi Kingston.  I’m up in the air between Punk and Jericho since they are supposed to fight at Wrestlemania for the title, but I’m going to pick Punk.

Also, look for in this match a quick exit for Miz.  The board is growing tired of his lack of star power, and dropping R-Truth on Raw on the Feb. 6 edition of Raw, giving him a legitimate injury isn’t helping his case.  The creative team will soon start to bury “the most must see champion in WWE history.”  Due to a win in a six-pack challenge on Raw, Jericho will enter the Chamber last, so he and Punk will probably be the final two in the match to build upon their rivalry.

            They can’t fill a three-hour show with just three matches, so there will probably be a few impromptu matches to act as fillers.  I will say there will be some sort of divas tag match which will last about 75 seconds and be a waste of time.

Rumble winner Sheamus is already going to Wrestlemania so he won’t play a role in any title match, though he may attack Bryan after his victory, but he’ll get a match against some jobber like Heath Slater, where he will win in impressive fashion.

The Funkasaurus, Brodus Clay, will also wrestle, probably against Drew Mcintyre, who he has started a feud with.  I predict another win by Clay, but don’t be surprised if he suffers his first loss since returning to WWE television in early January.

Elimination Chamber should be a great stop on the Road to Wrestlemania, where many matches will begin to take form for WWE’s biggest day of the year.