The Beacon

Building up your self esteem by standing up for yourself

Tonya Creasy, Staff Writer

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Imagine yourself at work with a supervisor that doesn’t respect your input. You provide ideas that consistently get shut down. It’s almost as if what you’re saying doesn’t matter. You begin to ask yourself why you’re still there.

No one wants to be in a situation where they feel like they don’t belong. The best thing you can do for yourself in those situations is to stand up for yourself. If you don’t, then you’ll be stuck being unhappy.

Not standing up for yourself and allowing others to walk all over you can make a negative impact on your self-esteem.

“Standing up for yourself helps you feel empowered and getting positive results can help build your self-esteem in a positive way. If you don’t, then it will make you feel weak, it disempowers you,” according to Karen Amesbury, a psychology professor at Luzerne County Community College.

You need to speak up and do what you’re comfortable with doing. There is nothing wrong with being assertive. It’s not being selfish, it’s just having respect for yourself.

It can be more difficult for those of us who are shy and timid to feel comfortable being assertive. It’s not easy standing up for yourself when you fear rejection or are afraid of hurting someone else’s feelings. It’s important to remember that everyone has their own needs. Fortunately, assertive behaviors can be taught, practiced, and learned.

There are several ways to be assertive according to an article in gradPSYCH magazine.

Reverse the roles. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Consider what is best for the situation and make your point known, regardless of who is in charge. When you show initiative, you’re proving you know what you’re talking about and providing reasons as to why one should listen.

Be specific. Make sure you get your point across clearly. Include details in your request to avoid confusion.

Develop an inner monologue. Prepare yourself beforehand. Preparation is one thing, but getting yourself into the right mindset is key.

Learn how to say no. Putting your foot down is important to help yourself avoid being taken advantage of.

Don’t take things personally. Instead of letting other people’s opinions affect you negatively, learn to find the positive in the situation.

Remember to keep your cool. If you allow your anger to take over, it will only create more problems. People say things out of anger that they don’t mean, however, they can never take those words back. Instead of getting what they want, the end result may be more negative.

Being assertive can help not only build up your self-esteem, but it can help a person communicate more effectively. Having good communication is a very important skill to acquire.

“Standing up for yourself might be able to cause other people to have more respect for you. If they see you standing up and valuing yourself then they might value you as well,” according to Amesbury.

Stand up for what you believe in and fight for what you believe you deserve.

By standing up for yourself, you may also be standing up for other people as well. If you see someone getting bullied and you stand up to the bully for that person, you’re affecting everyone in that situation.

You’ll feel great for helping someone and that person you’ve helped would feel better knowing they had some type of support. It can also inspire them to stand up for themselves.

Not only can you make it a better environment for yourself but you can make it a better place for others around you.

Stand up for yourself. If you don’t, then who will?

 

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Building up your self esteem by standing up for yourself