You do not need flowers today

Allison Rossi, Staff writer

“On average, 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States — more than 12 million women and men over the course of a year,” the National Domestic Violence hotline stated. Abusive relationships are unfortunately extremely common in the United States and around the world. Abuse relationships can occur in middle school, high school, college, and even marriage. There are different types of abuse such as physical abuse or mental abuse.

At first in a relationship, there might be no indications of abuse. Abuse can occur progressively over time. There are possible signs of an abusive partner and/or relationship. Some indications are as follows: if your partner discourages you, if your partner shows jealousy of your friends and time spent away, discouraging you from spending time with family members, embarrassing you in a private or pubic setting, trying to control your expenses, and even controlling who you associate yourself with.

You might be wondering why an individual would stay in this horror-stricken environment. There can be various reasons why a person would allow themselves to be treated this way. An individual could lack self esteem which might cause them to think that they will not be able to find another partner. An individual might be financially and emotionally dependent on their partner as well. This is where mental abuse can come into play. Another possible reason is that they are too fearful of their abuser.

In the mind of the victim, they might be in denial, they could become defensive of their abuser, or they could not find the courage and strength it takes to leave a romantic partner.

In the mind of the abuser, they want their partner to be completely isolated and emotionally dependent on them. If an individual is emotionally dependent and tied to another person, their choices and judgement may become clouded.

Paulette Kelly wrote a poem titled “I Got Flowers Today.”

This poem tragically and beautifully depicts the thoughts of the abused. The poem states “I know he is sorry and didn’t mean the things he said, because he sent me flowers today.” Kelly continues to evoke the horrors of abusive relationships. The closing statement of the poem is as follows “It was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today.”

Kelly’s poem is shocking, horrific, and gives readers a reality check. This poem puts the reader into the mind set of the abused and then brings them back to reality by the horrible outcome. If only the abuser ended his or her unhealthy relationship earlier then that individual would not have died.

Leaving a romantic partner and or getting out of an abusive relationships is clearly easier said then done. That is why there are support groups, resources, and hotlines available for victims of abuse. One support group is the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

The office is located on 3605 Vartan Way, Suite 101 Harrisburg PA 17110. The office phone number is (717) 545-6400 and they can also be reached at their website:

There are many other hotlines. As mentioned before there is the National Domestic Violence Hotline (, and Help for Abused and Battered Women ( There are various organizations, hotlines and support groups nationwide.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, trying to get out of an abusive relationship, or have suspicions that the relationship might be getting physically and or mentally violent speak up and say something.

There is always help and hope for victims of abuse.