National Coming Out Day is on Oct. 11. To mark this important day, the Office of Diversity Initiatives and the Wilkes GSA, hosted a workshop on performative and authentic allyship.
Although not nearly as talked about in comparison to Pride Month, National Coming Out Day still holds just as much cultural and historical significance as the Stonewall Riots, which became the precursor for what we know today as Pride Month.
National Coming Out Day was first observed as a holiday on Oct. 11, 1988. One year after Robert Eichberg and Jean O’Leary, two gay and lesbian rights activists led a 500,000-person march in Washington, D.C. advocating for LGBTQIA+ rights.
Coming out is a notable and sometimes challenging part of identifying as LGBTQIA+. It deals with the identity of oneself and who they can trust with their identity.
The objective of the workshop was to focus on how straight allies of the community can be respectable and educated, rather than acting performative and potentially intrusive or offensive.
Jacob Kelley, who led the workshop, is a prominent sexuality educator in Northeastern Pennsylvania. Kelley is no stranger to the Wilkes community, as they have visited the campus before in previous GSA events as their drag queen persona, Trixy Valentine.
Mx. Jake Kelley is the founder of Mx. Kelley Queer Education LLC. The foundation specializes in empowering organizations through education that specializes in LGBTQIA+ issues, gender and sexuality.
During the workshop, Kelley provided attendees with a ten-question list of scenarios asking if these scenarios were examples of performative or authentic allyship. For example, only posting LGBTQIA+ images/stories during National Coming Out Day and posting an image of a friend’s coming out story on your social media page without asking. All of the listed scenarios were actions of performative allyship.
Kelley reinforced that being a performative ally doesn’t make someone a bad person; it simply means that their heart is in the right place, but change must be made in how they show support for the LGBTQIA+ community.
“The key takeaways of this activity are to take risks to support not only the LGBTQ+ community but other minority groups, to center and make space for marginalized voices, and to keep learning and supporting your peers,” Kelley stated.
The workshop was held in the Savitz Lounge at the Henry Student Center and was a success in terms of attendance and participation.
Attendees gained a better understanding of what it means to be an authentic ally as they examined appropriate discourse and deconstruction as to what performative activism looks like.
Prior to the workshop, Abby Malin, junior psychology major and president of the Wilkes GSA, hoped that the workshop would educate those who needed it most.
“It’s basically about the basis of coming out and bringing everyone closer together,” Malin said.
Malin proceeded to define what coming out means to her, saying that “by coming out, you unleash your true self”. However, it’s no rush coming to that conclusion since Malin mentioned that coming out is a “slow burn process”.
“You’ll know when you’re ready. There’s no time bomb, and if you prefer living closeted your whole life, that’s okay, too.”
Malin believes that straight allies can knock down stereotypical walls and to embrace what is in front of them to make LGBTQIA+ individuals feel accepted and safe.
Education is key in terms of how LGBTQIA+ relationships and individuals are viewed, especially in today’s political climate.
“There’s an even bigger group of people who accept us and fight for us rather than those who oppose us,” Malin stated.
Eghosa Washington, junior pharmacy major and secretary of the Wilkes GSA also shared his thoughts on the workshop and coming out. Washington claimed that “coming out is a dynamic thing and understanding who you are can always change.”
“I think the idea of identity being dynamic and choosing how you present yourself in the world is important in how it relates to allyship,” Washington said.
With LGBTQIA+ rights being attacked by Republican lawmakers and politicians, Washington holds an optimistic view of LGBTQIA+ rights for the future in America.
“We are in uncertain times, but I’d like to think I have faith in people and what we’re capable of. We have the power to change for the better.”
Washington believes that Wilkes University is a safe space for LGBTQIA+ students. By joining the Wilkes GSA, he found it to be the right step forward for himself and to embrace his identity. He has hopes for other students that the GSA can be the right step for others.
Ozzie Priebe, a junior history and political science major, can attest to Washington’s claims of the school’s LGBTQIA+ safety and acceptance. Priebe mentioned that “Dr. Helen Davis of the English department was the first person he came out to and values her as someone he can trust”.
Priebe’s advice for those looking to come out is to understand yourself first and know who to trust that information with.
“There will be people in your life who will choose to continue to be in your life after coming out, and there will be those who won’t want to be in your life anymore. It’s worth knowing that even though it hurts.” Priebe explained. He added that writing and journaling also helped him come out and embrace his identity during the transition from female to male.
As a trans male, Priebe brought up the importance of embracing trans voices and identity at a time when being trans is considered dangerous.
“The right has pushed trans genocide, the Trump administration have been attacking and demonizing us relentlessly. The best thing to do is be strong and vote.” Priebe said.
Priebe added that even the smallest amount of support, such as trans rights and LGBTQIA+ stickers can be helpful in these trying times.
On top of ally support, Priebe wishes that Wilkes could make a statement on the current political climate to ensure the safety of not only LGBTQIA+ students and staff but for other campus members who are in minority groups.
